..when ostrich-ing doesnt work
..i admit it..im an ostrich.. through and through..i stick my head in the sand and pretend its not happening..
..well i should have prepared myself better for the physio today..I KNEW half of what she was going to say.. I KNEW me being woken up by the pain in my back last week was going to concern her(a lot).. anyway it didnt go well at the physio.. i have been told.. no speed work and to peg it right back..we did negotiate that i could do a longish(8-9km) long run, but couldnt run til wed after race this week... not even allowed to go fast on sat..MUST take it easy... which i KNEW would happen cos i have had a sore back MANY times last fortnight.. i think the thing which upset me most.. is that i try to pretend in my head that my back WILL get better and it was NEVER that bad.. Her telling me that I had(have) a MAJOR back injury(which again i knew-ish with loss of function in foot) but it really upset me...i cant pretend any more thats its just minor when she says stuff like that(and i like pretending about that)..and NO it wont ever get fixed...it can only ever be managed.. felt like crying on the way home..and again even though i KNEW it- i hadnt really faced NO SQUASH for probably rest of the year..she was really disppointed with how often i had been sore..and again was particularly tight in the back AGAIN
she asked me which one was more important to me..squash or runnning..my reply i dont know..ive been trying to work that out for two years..didnt seem to help..
anyway walked out feeling completely and utterly DEFLATED..part of me was hoping that i could increase..and my lunges apparently were terrible..again a comment about how far away squash drills still are..
i know she felt bad about it cos she said so..(I musta looked quite down in the mouth)
anyway had a rest day today..it was a GREAT day at work :) loving being back teaching..it really is such fun!
maybe 25 wines will make me feel better..dont worry itll pass.. im just in wallow mode.. cos this back is a never ending saga... and i dont usually sit around feeling sorry for myself(well except for now) but as someone at work yesterday said..youre too young to be having these back problems HEAR HEAR
this little mopey cat is off..to cry into her drink.. not really... i dont want to dilute it ;)
promise ill be in a better mood tomorrow
after i dont run up all the stairs at school(got told off for that)
5 comments:
Well I'm sure you will eventually pull your head out of the sand, well that is, if you want to regularly run and play squash!
Yep I think you could say harsh, but firm!
No more ostrich Jo.
Did you really get told off? Sheesh.
That's so major suckage. It always takes a couple of days of wallowing when you get bad medical news well for me anyways.
Oh Jo I know just where you're coming from. I have been really moody and down lately and I know for sure it's because I can't run at all, even small distances because it pulls my calf.
If you want to come over and drown your sorrows at my place, I'm a very eager drinking partner right now :0)
Stu, very harsh!!
I admire people who have an injury and then get back into it - but you are not supposed to get injured again. I am at the point where I am literally frightened to run because I don't want long term injury. I've just passed 12 weeks with no (real) running and I'm not game enough to do more than 5 minutes. Once bitten, twice shy...
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