..a bit of a gollum.. ie a little bit precious

hmmmmmmm
..what shall i say...hmmmmmmmmmmm
..its hard to ostrich if i say it out loud
..hmmmmmmmmm

ok so i feel very precious today(notin the good jewel sense..but that i could burst into tears) forthcoming are the reasons
1. found out the actual date my sister is leaving for the US..it just makes it so much more real :( and laso she is going for 2 weeks tomorrow as well
2. achilles still hurts and is a little swollen?maybe
3. i may be being paranoid...deep breath jojo.. i have something in the side of my glute... this is what immediately preceded the referred pain and loss of function of hte foot last time... :( although this time i am not running on it while sore(which i di last time) and it could be from the many lunges at squash surely and just a normal pain..couldnt it..i could just be being paranoid... please please please let me just be being paranoid.. im tearing up a little even as i write about number 1 and 3
..and im not known for being a sooky la-la
..and its probs a good thing my freind didnt opt to let me come visit tonight... no way am i much company

..and i felt bad cos of how much im going to miss my nieces...but i do not seem to be built for staying at home watching kidlets all day everyday...i love them to death and all..but im always extremely happy to give them back....barney just about made me slit my wrists...watching the 15month old is not that much fun..once the 3 year old came back, it was better... maybe my aunt was onto something about not having kids and just spoiling the nieces/nephews.. (im one of the lucky nieces that gets spoilt :) thats y they got to travel so much and have a fairly gourmet lifestyle..

sigh.. one of these days ill grow up and be an adult.. this wine is helping get rid of my depression at least.. my feral mooods usually only last for an hour or so... thats a long time compared to most of my moods...lol(only a quiet one mind) im exhausted from the million different emotions i have felt today... i woke up at 5:30am today stressed about glute