..big girls dont cry
..so apparently i a not a 'big girl' :)
my best friend however will be really happy
..Christian..who is the guy i have shagged on and off for 15ish years invited me to come meet him at the pub yesterday..NO I DID NOT SHAG him..i decided it was time to finish this thing completely, entirely,inexorably.. i told him that i could not see him casually because he is not casual for me..the number one rule of casually seeing someone is that you are NOT in love with them, nor have ever been in love with.. this should have occured 10 years ago..and in fact i had stopped once before..but then something really horrible happened and...well i went back...
having said that i have not been with him in months...
crying for an hour is way more tiring than running for an hour :( im a trainwreck today..absolutey exhausted.. and the stupid thing is...i hardly EVER cry.. but it was the right thing to do..and i feel relieved but most of all that there is RESOLUTION..CLOSURE... with the conversation we had.. there can be no casual.. and
im very very very sad about this.. but realistically i dont think we can even be friends.. and that makes me very sad.. this is the guy i always considered "the one' the only person who knows certain things about me.... anyway..done and dusted
..but very sad and feel a little lost
about to go off to the massage therapist..narky achilles is not happy...
some real physical pain will be good..at least thats something tangible as opposed to this crap that im feeling at the moment...yes i know..it will pass :( :(
3 comments:
Big girls don't cry is complete BS in my opinion. "Better out than in" is a much better expression in this regard - much better to let it out and get it out of your system in my opinion. No doubt about it, love is a beautiful thing, but can hurt so much sometimes. Hope things are feeling better soon!
Here's a hug JoJo. Take care of yourself. You're a strong woman.
Proud of you jojo - sorry you are sad, but better than seeing you waste that precious time of yours when you need, want and deserve more....don't expect to feel better in 2 minutes, he has been a big part of your life so it is fine to feel really sad right now- lots of people thinking of you and admiring your strength....
Post a Comment