..ummm is that a 'tempo' tantrum

..lol.. i do crack myself up..does anyone actually read my titles???

as one may have been able to guess- i had to do a tempo run today(i think stu enjoys setting these sessions..cos he is a sadist) anyway i knew it was going to be tough...
20mins at 4:30 pace is REALLY hard for me... sometimes i think stu thinks im ahead of where i actually am.. i think i race faster than what ot would mean as a trainer...ie i dont train at the right pace for someone who runs hte paces i run- if that makes sense
\..anyway i just couldnt manage it..yes it was bit windy..but im very soft so deliberately chose the way that had the least wind... 5 mins very easy,10mins easy(umm 5:30 pace felt much harder than usual i have to say)(then had to stretch a bit..both achilles were sore this morn..and back..well the back is being a brat lately...so it is double taped(by me):( no one else around to tape it..good flatmate is away and crazy one-well the less ssaid the better
then the supposed 20min tempo-made 14mins and had to stop for a minute,get a drink then last 6 mins...average 4:31 pace..the cool down i could only manage walk/run i was absolutely completely spent..
rang stu(and was a bit grumpy-cos i HATE it when i cant fulfil a session-feel like a failure) not helped when he has gone...well it only counts a tempo run of 14mins and then explained why..plthhhh ..and then i dropped the f-bomb..ooops sorry stu... and told him...well then i wish i hadnt done the next 6 f-ing minutes at 4:31 then..and he's like..well they dont count... and ummm i might have sworn again...and the given him the FINE treatment...lol.. i am such a little brat sometimes... today i was definitely acting my shoe-size ..so there was my 'tempo' tantrum...lol

..ummmmmmmm not sure if i should post this cos im quite sure youre all going to yell at me

..im going to go and have a hit(not a match) of squash now ..and yes i know i probably shouldnt because the back isnt fantastic-but: if i wait for the back not to be a bit sore-i will NEVER EVER get on the squash court, 2- i wont be able to go tomorrow bc after a long run-there is no way (it does mean 2mrws long run may end up beign done in the pool-and yes stu wont be happy about that..but this was going to be a rest 2 weeks but then i decided to do the masters championships.... so i had the squash thing in my head...
..and heres the killer- this morning when i got up -i actually thought ..you know what..maybe i have to retire from squash..back is never gonna be better enough etc etc.... and this made me PROFOUNDLY sad..and then realised i have hte power to do something about it..and if i want to play A grade again(and move to state grade) i do actually have to get out there and give it a proper crack... i am NOT a quitter(not yet anyway) squash has one last chance..and this is it

supposed to see the boy tonight??? well we'll see if he cancels or not i suppose- hes been pretty busy this week..anyway i finally got around to exchanging the shirt i bought him a while agao(that had holes in it ...oopsies) not sure if he'll like this one though-they didnt have many choices actually..and since i didnt have my receipt i am happy that they exchanged!!!
anyway squish squash...
i will say a little prayer to the back gods on the way over there... feeling very nervous...fingers toes and everything i can is crossed