..OMG

..omg how bad was my hangove today..i guess starting drinking at 1:30 pm and drinking til 4am...eeek.. means it was well deserved..lol
..dads 60th and my little angel nieces clambering all over me..they were just too cute for words
..i was very glad my bro in law came with the girls..dad had a great time amd he was soooo apreciative that i was there(of course i would be there...but then i AM the dutiful daughter :)

..OMG how much did people love my MIAOW top..had people coming up and miaow-ing at me all night ..and telling me how cute it was..it was great.will pop up a piccy...when i get my camera back...i uh err left it at the pub(fortunately people alway treat me lika a child and do a 'sweep' after me...lol..so my friend picked it up for me..
oh yeah id even made a "miaow" for my friend to wear..so we could be the pussycats but she refused to wear it..i was telling the bar man and hes like REALLY..ill wear it.. so i was pinning it on for him...very funny..but then when i went and met another gf, she was like......ohhhhhhh i woulda worn it...
..had a GREAT day
..and i know i say it ALL the time...but im quitting drinking.... have only just started to feel human again!!!!!

..miaow

just a quickie post today..
..am on my way out for grnd final day..hopefully keep my food under control..cos i sure as heck didnt last night..what was i thinking???Mcdonalds????jojo!

so this morning hae made my little slogan to wear on my top..black top and i stick on a little cartoony slogan..today it says miaow...cos im supporting the cats..cute huh!
..had a good night with sara last night..funny gal!OMG how much eye make up did i have on..i must have put it on with a trowel..this morning i was like..what the...yes yes..im not disciplined enough to take make-up off at night.. must scare the boys looking at rocky racoon(beatles song-and one of my favourite songs..sorry i digress..best song..listen to it if you get a chance)
..lol my gf just rang me..im meeting her at the pub..but shes not sure exactly what time..so i hope im not there too long by myself..eeek..and shes like get me a chair yeah..of course kirra.. see im a stander-up-er-er....she is not..this morning ..it was quite funny cos i was thinking..must remember to get a chair for kirra..LOL

ok.. well im about to do my make-up..hopefully without the trowel this time LOL...and miaow myself up!! go cats(even if you did beat the pies..they better win..cos i reckon we woulda given port a run for their money!!)
..oh and hope stu has a great time in sydney(without getting put in the lock -up or hospital!!!)not me saying it..they are HIS words from HIS blog...eeek

..splish spash..and i aint taking a bath

..well i sucked it up..and jumped into the pool
OMG i had a look at that tunnel i was climbing into the other day OMG it was tiny! no wonder i felt like a whale climbing in and out
..anyway my "friend" yesterday basically told me to get over myself when i was saying i couldnt exercise.. and suggested i should be doing clinical pilates or yoga or swimming
..so today i did the following
..swim 750m(am still trying to work out my stroke and technique etc and may need a lesson i think) and then a further 250m with a kickboard...
..which i kinda killed all my good work when 200g chips on special $1.49..so i ate what i wanted on way home..and then tipped the rest in the bin..LOL..cos i just cant be trusted
..am having a majorly fat day today(i have put on a bit of weight) im back to 62.5kg..i know its not much back on ..but well im freaking out...so i decided to go onto lite n easy for a few weeks..cos i have NO self control..so from fri next week i should be sorted :) just gotta be reasonable for a week
..also called to organise clinical pilates..just waiting to hear back...
..may even get a chance to do some squash drills later today
..i also joined the ambulance which ive been meaning to do for a while

..running? huh? whats that????

..yep still not running..and in fact today it was hurting to walk..stupid overcompensating stupid stupidness..how can it hurt the other leg to walk..stupid stupid stupid

..well after not telling me they were going to keep my car overnight..turned out they needed to keep my car overnight..
so i left my house at 7:45am(eek thats early on holidays) to walk the 2.5kms to get the tram to go see my niece...(and the right front of the leg was sore to walk) anyway was on the tram for oh..about 3 stops or so... before we are told that there is a big crash so they are stopping hte tram at the junction..fabbo and there wont be any trams on the other side for quite a while....lol.. of f.ing course... so i walked and walked and yep walked some more..6ish not very pleasant kms(and hilly too)...then took ali to the playcentre..where we hightailed it up and down slides forEVER and then in this big play thing where i had to twist and turn and walk on my knees cos i was too big..up and down some more slides..before playing some more...

finally the car ready so had to walk another km-ish to the tram and then another km-ish off the tram to fork out my 900 dollars..ali has been asking to come to my place for ages so we are doing 'lunch' next week..lol... she cried when i left as usual..the 18month old really couldnt care less..im lucky to get a cuddle..lol..more likely a whack on the head...kidding...sort of
..and then engaged in one of my guilty pursuits..this is going to lower EVERYONES opnion of me... but if i am home...eek bites nails dont want to fess up..if i am home at that time.... i uh err watch ...days of our lives ...(and dr phil)
..back is kinda sore after all the shenanigans of the day ..oopsie

..and one tiny little rant.. i am kinda pissed off with my family..i love them to death and all but i think its a pisspoor effort.. my dads 60th on sunday..lets see out of the 3 siblings..um i will be the only one there....my sis has a good excuse being in the US..but my brother has known about it for a while and could have organised work...hmmmmm..not my place to be mad..but dad will be upset..and my bro in law..not sure if he can bring the girls as it is about the time of their naps... and my nephew hasnt even replied so doubtful if he will go... so looks like my grandma(but she may be too ill)my dad,my aunt,uncle and me... i just hope dad's not too disappointed

..and i think i am paranoid... i get very fretty over things that arent even there.. i think im going to give myself an ulcer.. im always worried when i think i have upset people..cos it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach( i really hate upsetting people.. i really am the conchiest little nerdburger of all time)
ok..sorry about being cranklestiltskins..hope it didnt upset anyone..lol..cmon that was kinda witty...wasnt it?

..a mish mash..but no running

..still no running.. but on a whim decided to put my car in for a service and had already self dignosed the clutch needed repairing..and yep the clutch needed repairing..and its going to cost me $1000ish.yippee... and i need 4 new tyres(not getting them yet) when i bought the car 3 years ago they put new tyres on... and i have only driven 35000kms..that seems a bit soon for new tyres doesnt it????

anyway..no woe is me.. i choose to have a car and kill the environment..so i also choose to have the associated cost with it

..as to yesterdays post..thanks heaps ..i was feeling pretty down.. i think i was misintepreted by one of my friends though.... i have not been seeing christian for months..i finished it about 4months ago..but it was unofficial and my head probably thought i could stll go back there... i wanted to end it completely and finally and have no option of ever going back to christian..and thats what i did.. and you know what.. today i feel happy-ish.. a big weight has been lifted.. its taken me at least 10 years too long to do...but ..it was already over .but i needed it to be over OVER if that makes sense..i needed that final bit of closure

anyway so a 4.5 km walk back today..achilles a bit niggly but not making me limp..still a bit away from running i suggest..and i just cant seem to get in the pool..
..so it is a quiet little miss joey bean... but one whose emotional health and well being shareholders would have seen the share prices skyrocket.. that monkey is finally off my back LOL
..and sara i hope you went ok at the physio today

..big girls dont cry

..so apparently i a not a 'big girl' :)
my best friend however will be really happy

..Christian..who is the guy i have shagged on and off for 15ish years invited me to come meet him at the pub yesterday..NO I DID NOT SHAG him..i decided it was time to finish this thing completely, entirely,inexorably.. i told him that i could not see him casually because he is not casual for me..the number one rule of casually seeing someone is that you are NOT in love with them, nor have ever been in love with.. this should have occured 10 years ago..and in fact i had stopped once before..but then something really horrible happened and...well i went back...
having said that i have not been with him in months...
crying for an hour is way more tiring than running for an hour :( im a trainwreck today..absolutey exhausted.. and the stupid thing is...i hardly EVER cry.. but it was the right thing to do..and i feel relieved but most of all that there is RESOLUTION..CLOSURE... with the conversation we had.. there can be no casual.. and

im very very very sad about this.. but realistically i dont think we can even be friends.. and that makes me very sad.. this is the guy i always considered "the one' the only person who knows certain things about me.... anyway..done and dusted
..but very sad and feel a little lost

about to go off to the massage therapist..narky achilles is not happy...
some real physical pain will be good..at least thats something tangible as opposed to this crap that im feeling at the moment...yes i know..it will pass :( :(

..ummmm how long did it last

..ok..so i lasted oh ummmm one day..in my defense, someone did say come meet me for drinks..and i dont like to disappoint..
..im about to head off to the pub...and meet a friend..should be good..been trying to meet for a while.

..how many things WRONG did i do for my back today
1. i carried a million year old singer machine..they weigh a f'ing tonne
2. had to carry my niece and too many bags from the car to the pool
3.at the water slide..climbing through the tunnel..that was way too small for me..um how many times joey
4.carrying niece again back to the car
5.niece running full pelt at me and rugby tackling me onto the ground...umm how many times joey
..no wonder its not hte happiest its ever been(im not too fussed though)
..so achilles today is still not fanatastic but it is getting better..and no jojo that does not mean you can run on thursday
..so took my angel nieceto the ashburton water slide pool..was shimmying on my belly(one of the pools 30cm deep9and freezing) climbing through a tunnel..and wasnt that elegant...i was too big...felt like a whale..lol.. after about 10 times ive gone..ali...do mummy and daddy do this tunnel..and shes like no... they dont fit...yeah thanks for the heads up honey
..went on the waterslide a few times which was fun...went in the 'deep pool' .also went in the 1m pool that was warmer than my bath usually is lol..and did races..OMG i was exhausted at the end
..took me gaes to get her out of the pool..and had to carry her out again(yeah great for the back AGAIN...
..then back to my sisters house where bro in law cooked for me(sister in the US at the mo) and have organised to 'play again' on thursday
..no jojo.dont go home yet..thos big saucer eyes...5 more minutes..ok ali...5 more minutes..im a soft touch when it comes to that little angel
was very cute when we had stacks on jojo and even the 18 month old was jumping on me...
hopefully i wont get a black eye, where my niece smacked me in the eye wih a kickboard..sorry jojo...didnt mean it....you ok jojo??? yeah just give me a minute ali!!!! LOL..its a dangerous game being an aunty..lol..and i wish i could work out when i hit my head..which is obviously bruised from something

..naughty jojo or good sensible jojo

..ok first of all..i was a miserable little git last night..constantly icing, then self massaging my achilles/calf..i must have massaged for hours...and it was ummmmm painful..when i say i couldnt walk yesterday..i kid you not! well today it feels a bit better..i can walk albeit a little stilted and still limping but it is a HUGE improvement..and i wil wear heels :) to help it out..there still wont be any runnning for a week unfortunately..hopefully i can get a pool session in with sara

..so to my dilemma should i be naughty jojo(shes definitely my preferred one :) amd drink all afternoon(barbecue for end of winter season) followed immmediatey by dinner..which ummmmmm probably involves drinking..or be sensible jojo and not drink this afternoon...lol...if you ring me at 5 ,you'll probably know which choice i made :)...and i think i will wear my very tight,bright red pants..and to my friend..no i am not getting ready for Xmas..plthhhhthththt..they are HOT...lol

had to laugh last night..my friend from london(who is coming over for a short stint in a couple of months..woohoo)and i were chatting..and i was mentioning that i had lost a bit of weight from ummmmmmmm certain areas...his reaction was very funny(very predictable)...i mean its not like im small now anyway...lol... oh well hes just my little toy boy anyway(hes a few! years younger than me..hes more than a decade younger than guy i currently casually ummmmmm..lol..)i only picked him up cos he reminded me of my favourite footy player..that was a few years ago now..he usually only comes to aus once or twice a year..we went to melbourne cup last year..and i had the best tanty of all time...
i was freezing and said yeah thanks for offering me your jacket olly...(yes that is his name..hes pretty skinny too)and hes like it wouldnt fit you, your built like a brick sh1thouse(and i wasnt that fat i can tell you) and hten hes like.. here have the jacket..and im like no..i dont want it..hes like ..take the jacket youre cold..no Im not cold anymore...we to'd and fro'd til eventually i put the jacket on through gritted teeth..and then 10 seconds later took it off and threw it on the ground declaring very loudly that i wasnt f'king cold...twas very classy.lol.i got over it in about 2 mins and we started laughing..but it is still my favourite tanty

..if i edit later and cant spell or type u will know which i chose..Stu can vouch for how bad my drunken msn typing is LOL..i believe he once asked me the next day if i had remembered how to use the keyboard(little smart-ass that he is plthththt)

..jojo you are not 100 years old.....OK

..well i woke up very excited today cos i knew i was going to run and get to run fast.. i did have a niggling doubt in hte back of mind cos i knew if i thoroughly analysed thursdays run i should have noted it actually hurt a bit more than it should have..jojo will you ever learn
i even left the works drinks early so i could run(well then this got thwarted cos i still ended up having a few wines after this....)

anyway bright as a button..had remembered to pack evrything except my tracksuit pants..oops..
..saw Em walking past my car..she must think i stalk her LOL...
..was a bit nervous about being put in the div2 team(if fit this would definitely have been my spot today) but i was a bit worried about the achilles..so went off for a little trot and is was definitely niggly.. so i ased phil to put me in the div 4 team(i knew ritas time would be faster than mine if i had to stop for achilles)-this is my WISE decision for the day

so Em and i ran the same leg..woohoo..was great to line up with her
i took off and felt really strong..on hte flat was running less than 4;30min/kms.took it relatively easy up anderson and was feeling great..running well wihin myself..achilles a bit tight..but of course it is... keep running strong to the 2km mark and then literally feel a pain shoot through my achiles.right to the top..had to stop and stretch for 20s and then gingerly started running again..was very painful..i was definitely limping ..OUCH.. then towards the end Em came up beside me which was good cos it took my mind off the pain a bit..but then as she saw the finish line she started to speed up..i cant help myself..i didnt actually care about beating her, but i didnt want to be beaten so i grimaced and kept up LOL
..highlight of my day was Em and i crossing the finish line together.. i suspect there will be a few races next year when we are running not too far away from each other
..finished up..and as SOON as the muscles started to cool down hte injury got worse and worse..i an barely walk :( am hobbling around..and have to admit that i am actually injured
..now this is a state that i know how to react to...plan
1.at least a week off running
2.back to water running
3.anti inflamms of course
4.keep positive about my naughty little body that is doing battle with me constantly at the moment
oh yeah when i went and looked at peter(trialling that name for my garmin) i noticed just before hte achilles tweaked.. i had just upped the pace to between 3:30 and 4min/kms min

below is a breakdown of the approximate times in each of hte speed zones..
speed MIN/KM Mins at that pace(approx)1 min or so not accounted.20-30s of that is due to stretching)

3:30-3:59............ 1:10mins
4:00-4:29............ 6mins (approximate same amount in 4-4:15 as 4:15-4:30)
4:30-4:59............ 6mins (more in 4;30-4:45 ratio of about 3:2)
5+ ..............3:33mins definitely up the anderston st hill

so overall not happy with the run..but was happy at how easy 4:15-4:20 pace felt
oh yeah 14 seconds slower than last year(but way less fit and stretched in middle for longer than 14s) and i dont want to publish this post cos it just makes it more real
AND GREAT work Em..so good to see you out there running

..harder than i thought

..wow that was harder than i thought.. i just resigned from my job(the one im on leave from) i thought the principal would have realised since i made an appointment with hi,..He was COMPLETELY shocked.although he did appreciate that i made sure noone else knew so he wouldnt find out on the grapevine(i thought he should know first..) anyway saw many people..my ex-year 7's got soo excited and dragged me into their classroom and were quite upset when i told them(they asked me so i wouldnt lie..crestfallen would be a good word to describe..i dont think they had realised i probs wouldnt be teaching them next year anyway)The teacher(who is a friend of mine-gorgeous lady..one of the nicest people ever..a real MUM type) actually left the room cos she was tearing up... the kids are like where has Miss L gone???
so then emailed all the people i missed seeing..have received many nice emails..but it does make me a bit sad.i am leaving many valued friends..many of these i will still be in touch with.but i am sad none the less
..trying to decide whether to do some squash drills or not..i have the race tomorrow though...so maybe i should just do my simulations that i have been doing at home..yes i look like a lunatic..but if thats all im allowed to do, then im going with it
times for tomorrow: last year i ran 17:21 for hte lap of the Tan..would be happy with that but given my complete lack of fitness,i just dont know what to expect.i expect somewhere between 4:30 and 4:40 min/kms will be mighty p'd off if i dont get that
..now drinks start at 5:30 tonight..i think i need to have a drinking curfew so i can run well tomorrow..10:30 sounds reasonable i think..
..oh and go pies

..fred or ralph?

ok ill start with today's run..so if you dont wanna read my ramblings you can skip LOL
got my garmin..woo hoo.amd trying to decide what to call him..either fred or ralph i think...i like the name fred..makes me think of the flinstones which always makes me smile :)
plan was for a short run so i could see if i could run the relays on sat(assuming im put in a team)
MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNn was it windy at port melb today..ran 3.5kms..average pace 4;58min/km which is what i was aiming for.. achilles niggly to sore but would be able to manage running on saturday..was pretty happy

went to physio last night(my aunt)..she was completely unimpressed with some of the comments by the sports doc..anyway she is letting me up my squash drills and has given me lots of exercises..and then she took me out to dinner... mmm duck and red cabbage..my aunt is possibly the nicest perso in the world
..back was a little...how to describe..felt like it had been worked on...during the run today....
..and then went and visited my friend afterwards which was nice

..so yesterday was a good day :) and today is good too.. i might even do squash drills later...
..oooh ooh ooh and im allowed to start incorporating rollerblading and cycling(as long as not consecutive days)
..i just cant wait to be able to exercise most days..and hten i can start losing some weight too...
dentist yesterday...ummmmm its going to cost me 6000 or 7000...phew..lotta money...just how vain am i??apparently 7000 worth..although having said that, if that horrible dentist hadnt ever had said anything i would not be looking at the mirror 250 times a day and commenting to myself about how horrible my teeth are.. oh and at some stage(not sure of timing) i will have to get 2 teeth fused into the jaw at about 5000 each..i could get it done now which would cost 13000 but i think i will wait and try to save up a little..surprising.. i dont just happen to have a spare 13000 lying around :(

..wow..a LOT of laughing today

..im sure corrie(the most fanatastic massage therapist EVER) thinks i am crazy.. i mean extremely ticklish so i laugh quite a lot(apparenty shes not used to that ) and then well when it hurts i kinda..well.. laugh! it cracks her up... and trust me ..there was a whole lot of laughing tonight :)when i felt extreme pain,obviously i laugh..and then im like yeah..well pain... its all transient..(you gotta remember i had a sewing needle wedged in my belly for the first 10 years of my life and used to constantly complain about my hot belly(obviously didnt know how to describe pain..lol..cos id always had it)
so when i say as soon as pain is done, i forget about it..im really not lying..my mind really does play tricks on me when it comes to pain..glute was sore..but happy to say quite lumpy so more than likely due to squash...left leg..dont think its the achilles(i wasnt convinced it was yesterday cos even tho the pain started there, iy was the 'push off' that i was unable to do..) so we think maybe the tibilais posterialis....something..apparently it was extrenely tight..well the whole area was..but it was getting close to steel rods..which is how she has descibed my muscles on some occasions..
so after oh about nearly 2 hours we had managed to cover the lower back, glutes,backs of the legs..and not the hip flexors....i dont think i couldve taken them tonight ..lol.. she is just so lovely.... we have such a good laugh!i commented about how dishevelled the lady befor eme looked..but im quite sure i looked llke i had been well err..you can use your imagination..
anyway think i will either run or do squash drills tomorrow..and fingers crossed no lecture from physio(man I spend a LOT of money on my body at the moment.. i know its supposed to be a temple and all..but does it have have all the trimmings..lol(and dentist tomorrow which will cost 3000 in the short term..eeek..and thats on top of the 3000 aready spent in last couple months(and about 3000 on the back too!!)..no wonder i havent saved since april..lol)

went to a time share presentaion thing today...yer i know...they got me when i was all dozy after a nap last tues..and they did pull the hard sell on me..
at one stage the conversation went something along these lines..
jo: im not signing anything today..i would need to think about it
guy:but you have the cooling off period
j:im not signing anything
g:but the cooling off period
j;im not signing anything
g;but then you dont get all the benefits of yada yada yada
j: then i dont get the benefits
g: and you wont remember everything i said cos you dont get to take all these booklets home..a today only offer
j:i remember everything you said
g:no you dont
j; ok test me..i remmember everything you said(seriously im a numbers girl)
g;gives me a look ..it took me months to learn all this stuff
j:ok..but seriously i rememembr everything you said..and i quoted some figure for him(i think nonplussed is the wordto descibe him)it was one of those looks my chem(or maths) teacher used to give me when i was talking and he would say ..what did i just say jo...and i would quote him verbatim... god that wouldve been annoying-you would think he woulda learned and stopped doing it)
g;ok fine well refer your sister to me and ill call her(i had mentioned her)
j;NO
g;why not
j;she wont like to be called
g;just write her number down
j;NO she wont want to be called
g:sighs and i think realises i am an obstinate little so and so who wll not forcibly do something i dont want.... ok heres my mobile number..get your sister to call if she wants a referral...oh and here take all the documents
j; thank you...lol..shouldnt have taken him that long to have realised now should it..
i got my digital camera 'gift' that you get for going..and toodled off on my merry way

i know i have said before i like to be bossed around...but that only extends as far as little things....
ps..how did i ever survive before masssages..my friend who not so gently pushed me in that genereal direction was very much correct..and yes ,,I DID JUST SAY SOMEONE ELSE WAS CORRECT

..a bit of a gollum.. ie a little bit precious

hmmmmmmm
..what shall i say...hmmmmmmmmmmm
..its hard to ostrich if i say it out loud
..hmmmmmmmmm

ok so i feel very precious today(notin the good jewel sense..but that i could burst into tears) forthcoming are the reasons
1. found out the actual date my sister is leaving for the US..it just makes it so much more real :( and laso she is going for 2 weeks tomorrow as well
2. achilles still hurts and is a little swollen?maybe
3. i may be being paranoid...deep breath jojo.. i have something in the side of my glute... this is what immediately preceded the referred pain and loss of function of hte foot last time... :( although this time i am not running on it while sore(which i di last time) and it could be from the many lunges at squash surely and just a normal pain..couldnt it..i could just be being paranoid... please please please let me just be being paranoid.. im tearing up a little even as i write about number 1 and 3
..and im not known for being a sooky la-la
..and its probs a good thing my freind didnt opt to let me come visit tonight... no way am i much company

..and i felt bad cos of how much im going to miss my nieces...but i do not seem to be built for staying at home watching kidlets all day everyday...i love them to death and all..but im always extremely happy to give them back....barney just about made me slit my wrists...watching the 15month old is not that much fun..once the 3 year old came back, it was better... maybe my aunt was onto something about not having kids and just spoiling the nieces/nephews.. (im one of the lucky nieces that gets spoilt :) thats y they got to travel so much and have a fairly gourmet lifestyle..

sigh.. one of these days ill grow up and be an adult.. this wine is helping get rid of my depression at least.. my feral mooods usually only last for an hour or so... thats a long time compared to most of my moods...lol(only a quiet one mind) im exhausted from the million different emotions i have felt today... i woke up at 5:30am today stressed about glute

..a battle of wills

..ok.. in one corner we have jojo..who has been sidelined due to back injury.. in the other an achillles that is trying to exert his authority.. but .. he needs to realise he is playing OUT of his weight category... do you hear that annoying little achilles..you will not win this battle..give in and stop trying it on!!!OK

so i decided not to run the spring into shape series :( after the achilles hurteven walking yesterday..massaged it yesterday, iced it and coddled the annoying little brat... so decided to try out lower HR slow run <45mins as advised by a friend.. to say it hurt for the first 11 mins would not be a lie,(but everytime i stoppped and stretched..it was EVEN worse when i initially started off..ouchies) i could even say it eased up to maybe just niggling for about 10 mins after that. and then the next 10 mins the achilles decided to go from what had been a belly grumble to an all out loud grumble culminating in a TANTY..seriously.. the little brat decided that no way no how was i going to run after 34 mins...at this stage i was limping and unable to push off with it at all..it was just like a SOLID block....and once i start limping and my gait has had to change..even i will stop
so im contemplating resting it for 2 days..but am going to do squash drills in about half hour..just hitting the ball up and down the wall..no running at all..will try to cap it at half hour

and well done to em,andrew,kathrynoh and jaykay(the little speedster PB ..excellent)

thanks for the kind words yesterday..but dont worry..im not stressed about boys..they are just little aliens really..no point trying to understand them LOL
pmsl about what sara was saying to me on the phone today about my yesterday's post

..sigh why do people over complicate things

warning dont read further if you dont want to hear about my boy issues..
life is supposed to be cruisey.. it really is...
..why cant people just let things be nice and easy and not try to complicate things

..my ex was texting me last night..dont worry i was a good girl.. i have sworn myself off him(finally after 15 years)but im trying to work out if i can be friends with him.. i still have feelings for him( BUT then i probably always will...only person ive ever trusted with my emotions)i really like him as a person,hes funny and basically just heckles me..im a girl that loves BANTER... was quite funny..
my casual london guy(obviously very casual only comes to aus once or twice a year) also sent me some amusing messages last night.. he just cracks me up..hes the complete opposite of guys that i usually go for.. he is so rude and lewd.. and he is the BIGGEST floozy of all time..but then he has redeeming features as he is actually one of the smartest people i know... its such a pity he lives in england

..and someone else was annoying me a little during the week..why do guys automatically assume that they are the most date-able people on earth.. and that all girls must be just dying to go out with them.. seriously.. now theres a conversation i have to have which is annoying.. because im sick of being told that they dont want to go out with me...derrrr im not an idiot .. and i have never once said that i even wanted to... i mean lovely guy :) i do like him but im still dealing with the other Ex issues at the moment..and trust me thats ENOUGH for my poor little head to cope with... i only stopped seeing him 3 weeks before casual supposed to be all cruisey guy.. i think i made my point earlier today but we will see

Achilles-NOOOOOOOOOO good. i rang em up today cos im contemplating running the spring into shape..if anyone sees me there..maybe slap me..it was hurting even walking today..although took some anti inflamms and majorly massaged it so its feeling a wee bit better.. i will see how it feels in the morning

oh and cleaned my room..well partially.. and am throwing away all my size 14 pants..they really are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too big for me...and im not ever putting back on 10kgs to get back there
..

..uh oh..chocolate , chips AND shopping

..mmmmmhmmmmmm... i have been trying to do my ossieostrich for hte past week but today my achilles, decided to pull my head out of the sand kicking and screaming..

had a good start to the day, minus the hour plus that i ended up being in traffic for(what the..im not used to driving through the city at peak hour)..and then decided to go for a run...was having a conversation with a friend yesterday about what to run, he thinks i should stick to slow runs and no speed yet but no more than 50 mins..ok so the plan was to run for 50 mins... uh uh!!! went to the tan so i could kind of watch the time..was aiming for between 5:40-6min/km pace... was difficult to stick to that pace...bt i stuck with it
first lap 21:35 so 5:39pace..perfect..the achilles was really sore for the whole run..i was literally trying to work put what the difference between a niggle and a 'you really should stop running pain' is(also when i stopped for drink and restarted it hurt HEAPS and i was kinda limping for a bit while running hmmm) anyway...the universe musta been bored (and listening)because it decided to show me exactly what the difference is(and remove all doubt)..at the end of the second lap when trying to run up anderson st...i actually couldnt...too tight and hurt too much....even i knew that was a sign to stop..still quite sore so i suppose i will ice it and take anti inflamms... dont think it will stop me from running..ill give it another go on sunday(and i have squash drills tomorrow)
so all up 40 mins i think @5:40ish min/km pace..but a disappointing run :(

so on my way home..a bit depressed, i went shopping..bought a dress(quite flattering 2, 2 nice shirts for work, a snug skirt ....i do have to say that i love the fact that i only ever grab a size 10 now for my bottom half(i used to grab the 12..just in case...)
having said that , i may not be doing that for much longer..i went and bought chips...and chocolate(and i so irregularly eat choc..feel a bit sick after eating it....lol

staying home to watch the pies(cwood) tonight..one of my ex-colleagues is coming to look at the room..he's a bit cute too(i think he has cute friends too) dont worry..wouldnt go there tho--i have a rule about boys that are skinnier than me :) made that mistake once before..nothing wrong with living with a bit of eye candy tho!!!

..its all about me!!!

..guess who is on holidays.....................woohooooooooooooooo

um yep thatd be me ..me.. me .. me.. me.... its all abou me :)

had a few after school drinkies...many congratulations about me getting permanency..nice..still have to resing from my old school..not looking forwrd to that..went out with friends last night and didnt tell the majority of them cos i dont want hte principal to hear it on the grpevine..
..will finally be able to get car fixed..from flatmate crashing into it..hopefully psycho flatemeate will move out soon too! she has been asked..havent seen much movement though...back was really sore today(thatd be the 29kms in the last week jojo :( in the same spot whihc i believe is the SIJ.probably will need to have a huge injection into it)had a fun day at school today.. was telling the year 11's i was excited to get back on squash court(one of htem was about to play) and hten they ar elike miss miss..how do you get those high backhand serves so i was giving them some tips//maybe they should give me squash as a sport
..oh and apparently i looked very summery today..
..maybe i was just..littel miss susnshine..hehe

..happy..i think???

..well i got the job...
..but it was a bit stressful..cos it wasnt official, and i wasnt sure if the person who sits two desks behind me had been told he was unsuccessful..and people are congratulating me..i cant lie when people ask me outright.. felt awkward.
..anyway am very happy to have got hte job.. i have to say i am very lucky... obviously i interview well(not big headed- just true LOL) i get lots of jobs even though i may not be hte best candidate....i may be..but i know how to interview..and being slightly extroverted(in that situation) helps.. but i allow my enthusiasm to show,..
..unfortunately i find it difficult to curb that in my real life..
i ran 8.5kms today(45 mins) .. which brings total on last 7 days to 29kms(up from ummmmmm 22kms) will try to cut back but next week is 3 day run week....
..and that person who was annoying me.. i think thats all sorted.. i get very fiery for about 20 mins... and then its like what.. what... who says i have the attention span of a gnat..
..and just for the record..i make my own decisions..whilest my sister lectures me(or my brother) being the younger sister, i dutifully take it... and hten go and do whatever i feel like doing!!!! so plththththththth to someone asking me today if i have to ask my sister....

..jojo jojo jojo

..long long day today...

at work for an extra before school class..then big day followed by a job interview after school followed by playing with my nieces followed by a marathon massage from corrie..she is sooooo good though.. and it is nice that she laughs at my jokes..we sat and chatted for about 20 mins before we even started (i was her last client)
//then have spent an hour doing homework..sooooo tired

..got the usual lecture off my sister ..about the fact that i have been shagging someone who doesnt really like me..and that im just doing what i always do .. and i dont know some other stuff that she always says to me..i kinda tuned out when she was telling me the other stuff i should be doing...sigh
..also cant really comment but someone took something i said the wrong way i think..and seemed to get shitty..either that or they think im shitty.. i dont know...where's that sand for me to stick my head in LOL
..am way too tired...way too everything tonight...just feel exhausted

..a quickie but a goodie

..been very contemplative today and last night
3 topics today..run..mood..the universe

1. not much time after school so went for a quickie..just 5kms at 23:28 so 4:41 pace...kinda hilly(not mountainous hills but balwyn is kinda hilly)..i ran too fast at the beginning but felt very very strong..achilles pretty tight again.. really want to run sub 4;30min/kms for tan relays

2. been in a funny old mood last two days..cant comment too much.. anyway apparently i DO NOT learn from past mistakes.. im a silly silly girl sometimes..thats all i can say..job interview tomorrow and still struggling with the whole do i really want to give up my sat mornings..am exhausted and feel like i only have one day off per week..one of my friends who i actually value their opinion thinks i should(it is a lot more money) but money doesnt really turn my world :( maybe it should... because im pretty crap in the other components of my life

3.the universe.. theres obviously gotta be a certain amount of back pain traveling around the univers..since my back stoppped hurting last friday about 4 people i know have complained about having a sore back..sorry people..that pain had to go somewhere :) its like when i had some warts on my fingers as a kid..i told them to go away(which they did) but 2 other people i knew ended up getting them ..lol ( iwas only about 7) its the whole mass cant just vanish thing i reckon ..now if i can just work out whose achilles is hurting less ..cos mine sure as hell is hurting quite a bit when i run
..have joined facebook..but dont know how to use it...anyone know how to change my username.. like putting the photos up
..lotsa hwk(been at the pub again(not my fault) 2 drinks then went home..pat on head for joey bean surely i hafta be in a better mood tomorrow yeah..hehe..not in that bad a mood..just feel a bit blah..im sure its just gurly stuff
..oh and edit.. i really dont understand what it is about me..but ill be sitting there nicely..and someone i know (male or female) often just see the need to make some comment about my breasts..where does this come from??? im always surprised.. i dont make comments about theirs..its not like my girls are ridiculously disproportionately big.... i cant rememebr the last time i went...gee you really are flat arent u..just out of the blue! not annoyed or anything..shes a funny girl...but it just happens soooooo regularly...

..champers for brekky

..umm yepppp as the tile procliams..champers for brekky for this little sausage head..only just sobre enough now to blog..lol
..em pickem me up about 5-7 this morning..i took my picnic hamper. plus muffins plus bread avocado tomoato lettuce and boiled eggs..and yeah champers..we sat on the side cheering on team-mates etc..some of whom threw water on us ..well ill be....
the us...included..my sunny little self, em,sam..he;s such a sweetheart, blueboy...saw the usual suspects..poor tony had a tough one today, stu decided to change his shoes half way..i think he just wanted more time to heckle us really, jeg of course, and morsey runs(bugger about eaving he rpres in my car..oops..how cute is bella...sara had a sign that said run faster which she went to hold up for stu but i declined to hold saying i dont wanna..ill get in trouble... lol...
so from htere to the grand,,which didnt open til midday so i prvided some champers for the burgers cohort still left standing,,,then had a tiddly trm trip home followed by a nap..which i just woke up from..contemplating 1 doing some homework and 2 getting a souva.. ok this little pearler has taken me forver to type ..im gonna check out this facebook thingamyjig

..time to start some real training

..ok so went over to a friends house last night which was nice :) always glad to not be home with psycho flatmate lol...thenhad to go to school aths this morning..not quite sure if ive decided the money is worth having to go to school 6 mornings a week...after 5.5hrs sleep i wasnt entirely satisfied lol

had a big nap when i got hom after recoding for LJ in the sun all morning..tried desperately to talk morsey into running with me..but she blew me off..hehe kidding..shes running tomorrow morning..stopped off to buy a present and for some reason ran too fast to the shp.which made my achilles very tender..
..so off to the Tan for 2 laps..was going to do beach road but knew i would end up doing 10kms and since did 8kms thursday too big a jump since prior to thursday has been 5kms a go..
first lap clockwise 19:50 (5:08m/km pace) second lap anti clock 19:15(4:59) but actually ran slower but really strode out last 4mins.. but gee it felt like much harder work than that..neither of those paces are super fast for me...and hit a bit of a wall at 30mins(cos thats as long as ive been runnning lately


ummmmm had to stop and stretch on numerous occasions..teh achilles was sooooo sore at one stage i thought i was going to have to stop running..which was making me cranky..when i stopped and restarted it was like yowsers ..but then it got a bit better..happy to be whinging about something other than the back...
back felt vgood.. now that it knows its suposed to be good maybe it will be ;) maybe hte pain has just been psycho-sematic last few weeks... maybe it knows next time it flares up is a painful injection into the sacro iliac joint..lol

..anyway was stressed out for most of the afternoon..cos i fessed up to telling someone something and then didnt know if they were pissed off and i fret and stew over that sort of stuff...but then i think its ok cos have spoken to them and they didnt mention anything.. anyway not to worry... i think i just dont understand the need for secrecy as much as others... im usually pretty good..but when im drunk, im a bit of a blabbermouth..dont tell me secrets... i dont want to know..hands on my ears lalalalalalalalalalalala
will pop up a photo of the girls at my bday party and one of my round of shots that i bought.. such a fun bday week it was

..who's that happy girl in la-la land

me me me me me ..ooh ooh that would be me

went and saw the sports doc at the OpSM.can you believe i had to wait an hour ..after last weeks schmozzle...hmmmmmmmm
..anyway..and this is prettyy exciting.. he thinks im in excellent shape and cant see hide nor hair of any type of nerve issue.... he also seems to think the constant pai could be my SIJ(sacro iliac which i have been thinking lately..ie there was probs more than one injury) and if it flares up for a period of time, maybe i should get an injection into it....
..but wait theres more.. he has said i can do anything i want within my pain threshold(barring the glute pain which was the pre-cursor to the leg pain) but have to build up slowly..so he is more than hapy for me to get back on squash court(im going to do drills for 3 weeks and hten contemplate a ten minute or so hit with someone.. i can up my kms..but again have to take it slowly.. he also seems to think everyone my age would have disc bulges..so finally someone who doesnt want to wrap me in cotton-freaking wool and is going to allow me to get back out there and do what i like best :) very very happy girl

quiet night for me tonight.. at olympic park for the aths for schol tomorrow..and htem im thinking a long run...

oh yeah having a bit of bck pain today but not thte usual and its just cos i ran 8kms yesterday with my hydro pack... im more than happy to suck up a bit of pain if im allowed to run.... now bring on some training.... woohoo... i dont want to go back to physio..i can already see her face..but at least i have the doctors advice as well..which i think is why i wanted to go..firstly cos of hte four week bad back pain and hten cos i feel like im ready to start pushing...did i mention woo hoo

..seriously jojo..what planet do you live on

..umm where to start..can i begin with im glad it happened today cos i have had a bit of a moodswing..
i have decided to try not to let the little things upset me..or the inconsequential people in my life(ie flatmate) i dont know how long it will last but im giving it a go...
as i was telling a student today....(he was complaining about interactions with a teacher) i said you know you cant change someone elses behaviour but you can change how you react and how much you let yuorself get upset..
so im taking my own advice...
..ok we all know im crap..I LOST my silly keys at school today(not y school keys) but my house/car keys... so i couldnt drive my car home... had to catch PT with a million boys from school..wasnt that fun ..lol..but you know what..it didnt upset me(it really wouldve yesterday)
so PT to my tutoring job..was going to walk the 3-4kms home in the dark(said no 3 times) but htey did actually insist..i am EXTREMELY bad at letting peopple do things for me..i know where it stes from but i just dont seem to be able to get rid of this baggage!
anyway came home got y spare car key and decided to jog back to my car...gto my camelback and loaded it up with too much stuff....(only 2kgs but it was enough) ok thought it was about 5kms....ummmmmmmmm no..8kms and back was sore from 4 mins onwards...oopsies..

come home..cooked steamed vegies and rice...having a wine and still feel very calm and relaxed... i do need to switch my head on sometimes as the amount of stuff i llose is ummmm ludicrous.... no wonder all my friends shake their head at me LOL

and happy bday to sara for tomorrow????

..it is..it is..

..it is..it is..it is like going to confession(going to the physio) and i fret and worry about the stuff ive done that i shouldnt have and then contemplate lying and then my BOSSY friend(lol) tells me i cant lie..and being the dutiful girl that i am(actually im not joking im am terribly dutiful..im sure its a major flaw and hte reason i always end up doing stuff i dont want to) i do what im told..
pmsl at jh's commment

tonight was going go do squash-took the racquet to the gym just in case a court was free..decided not to check as it is naughty..so did 25 mins on the spinning bike and some uppper body weights(woo hoo weights 2x in a week)

..school was average..
..have been a bit down..but mainly cos its just not nice being at home at the moment and i dread being here as i never know when shes just going to yell and be crazy flatmate as opposed to just not talking to me flatmate..fortunately one of my friends invited me over last night so a couple of drinks was very nice..much better company than psycho flatmate
morsey:you will be glad to hear ive decided not to buy that present for myself that i was talking about on sat...lol
ill just stick with the garmin as a pres i think...
thats all folks..tired stressed little joey bean

..physio

..so i was very worried before i went to the physio..i was pretty sure i was going to get in trouble...for the speed work and the squash since i have only had 2 good days with the back in the last 3 weeks..and trained harder than usual
..anyway my physio couldnt see me so my aunt decided to be my physio..and she's so sweet and nice(and knows what im like) that she just cant tell me off...
..we discussed what i did and why..slight raised eyebrow...and she even acknoledged when i said sometimes medical practictioners wont tell you to do stuff so sometimes you need to do it and hten show them that it was ok...anyway she knew that i had actually been really really reserved(for me) and she said under no circumstance should i increase speedwork more than i had and perhaps i went a bit fast..and i could stick with 15 mins of squash drills as long as i stuck to same guidelines...woohoo..lauren may not be happy when she hears that!!!!!!..oh yeah and always have a rest day after 15 mins of squash...
slight difference in strength between the toes on the right and left foot but she said minimal so just keep an eye on..still better than last time... also her mobilisation left me in a lot of pain last time..so she was VERY VERY gentle...
..flatmate was rude to me yet again yeterday..shes just crazy..had to go for a drive around a very big block just cos i didnt want to be in too close a radius of her..was very annoyed..move out already..
.upper body very sore after the gym work yesterday..
oh..and OPSMed are trying to make amends..the doctor called me today and left a nice message..and has even offered to bulk bill my initila consulation..so am much appeased

..i am such a brat

..i am such a brat... i think im a superbrat!!!
.i dont really want to fess up...
deep breath..ok.. this is how the thought process went..
..its been EXACTLY 5 months since ive been on a squash court(day of injury) and i am sick of being like this..and then i got kinda grumpy at my physio who in a fit of haziness decided she is too conservative and is never going to let me DO ANYTHING..and that well ill just have to do it and then show her im ok and then we can move onwards and forwards...err yeah i know i know..sensible thought processes going awol
been fighting with myself all day about going out and either running(bt i ran yesterday) or squashing(just a few drives along wall)
um sensible rational jo just didnt put up a good enough argument it seems... so i went to the squash court...feeling guilty and naughty the whole way there... si i only did about 15 mins..i didnt do moving lunges(well not initially) just hitting down the wall and if i could reach it i would hit it(first 7mins was only hitting once and then simulating the next hit..as i got more confident i did do a couple of walk to the ball and lunge...felt pretty good..kept my form good..gee it felt nice being on the court..i have lost a fair bit of touch)although did do some very nice drives) also didnt hit anything below waist height..
..so now it is just a case of wait and see... and then i did a few upper body weights

bday review
had a fantastic night(no hangover today woohoo) had 5 shots on top of the million wines..completely forgot the cab ride home....fortunately i didnt do anything silly..but i had also forgotten the bit where we were in HJack's and my friends put a crown on my head and loudly sang happy bday.. did heaos of dancing..often it was just me and my gf dancing... but when the band sang a song especially for me..i just had to dance(and they did it a few times... i wore my FASTER top to celebrate my speedwork yesterday..although every single guy that came up to me thought it was about something else...
OMG there was a guy who's name was Kerrin(i was pissing myself laughing..especially when he said his parents actually were hoping for a girl...LOL and then hes like..guess what my brothers name is...and im like..i dunno ..LOUISE.... i just about fell on the floor i was laughing so hard(yes at my own jokes!!) anyway the name was Dwayne...those parents are just MEAN

..im sure i CAN be nice

..i went out with work colleagues and had told myself how NICE i was going to be.. within about 5 mins i was being my sarcastic little bee-ach self(funny of course..... ;) to those in the know...) i seriously JUST cant help myself.... im sure i can be nice... i just need to practice... here goes.. hi how are you... ummmmmmmmmm....ok im done ..not sure what comes next LOL LOL LOL

this title could also have been
OBOY OBOY OBOY OBOY OBOY OBOY OBOY OBOY

let me preface this with there arent many days that barney plays nice..today apart from some early twinges during hte million times i had to pick up hte high jump bar(I looked like a dufus but i did lunge evertime rather than bend at the back)

today was like one of thos scenes at the movies, barney and i runnning around on the beach,next scene having a nice coffee... best of friends ....jojo loves barney today(and no im not bi-polar even though it might seem that way after yesterdays post)
so i decided to take advantage of my one good day with barney and do a little speed session at the Tan
let me begin by saying the 250 reps were on a slight decline(the 3.5-3.75 km mark on tan round the bend clockwise) and my 1km time pace is 3:43(pre injury and well for all i know it could be a short 250m..i may have gone a tad faster than meant(aim was 4min/kms cos i wasnt even sure if i could manage that..my last attempt at speed-months ago i struggled with 50seconds for 200's on the track)
set1 (4 x 250m)..only measured to second..truncated not rounded up ..LOL
1 54 s (3:36m/km)
2 53 s (3:32m/km)
3 53 2 (3:32m/km)
4 53 s (3:32m/km)
with walking back between (didnt want to add 2 kms onto the run)...5 min rest bw sets
1 53 s (3:32m/km)
2 53 s (3:32m/km)
3 52 2 (3:28m/km)
4 49 s (3:16m/km) maybe a tiny bit fast... back is a tiny bit tight..maybe dancing tonight will loosen it up..felt good to be breathing a bit heavy(big smiles)

so bday drinks for miss joey bean tonight..out in the city...better start getting purty..although lately i have been doing my makeup when i get to places!!!! i procrastinate around home for too long... mwah mwah and then dieting from monday so im not miss petunia (thats porky pigs gf if you didnt get the reference..too many cartoons jojo)