i AM a precious little princess
stu tells me i am...and i really think i am sometimes.
i dont know how it can be that i feel sheltered from this lifestyle as this is the life i grew up with. Only difference is my brother sister and i worked our butts off putting ourselves through uni so we didnt have to go back..............................
i am in crazytown at the moment. it really is unfathomable, like some bad flick trying to show bizarro people.
and it makes me feel like a bad person
..the place is almost unliveable..and the smells OMG(and i am precious about smells) and my (half)sister and her nephew are extremely bizarre. they are both hugely obese and ummmm my nephew is kinda crazy(he is a 15 yr old giant 6,3 and 120kg) anyway it is a shock to the system i can tell you.
im not used to ALL this constant fighting and nastiness(anymore), i almost cried yesterday just watching. i now live in my nice little house, with my nice little stu, who has nice little boys in my nice little job in a very clean little house that smells nice, with my nice normal other half of the family.
i had been going to stay thursday(potentially fri) sat and monday.
i have booked a hotel room for friday night..and asked mum to stay with me. she is fine, she's not a problem) and one on one i can cope with teh other two too but seriously, i gotta get out.
and im not even being nearly dramatic enough......
im now only staying here last night, i have booked htel rooms for all the other nights now. Mum was also telling me it was ok if i went to a hotel last ngiht, but i thought i should at least stay one night.-no small feat!
another thing im preciouos about is eating, i cant stand bad-eaters.... my mother and my sister are okay, but i dont know how they have not disciplined the nephew into eating like a normal human being??????????????????????????????????????????????? i felt seriously sick
anyway normally mum would be upset by me not staying(she is highly emotive) but she could see how stressed i was yesterday(and i ws trying not to let it show REALLY)
..anyway heading off shortly -to be normal again...
i am a horrible person for feeling the way i do.
i cna only thank god that i was born with half a brain, and enough determination to change my beginnings, so i can live the life that i do, and didnt fall into the trap of staying in the quagmire. seriously it is so depressing(theyre not depressed by it-it seems normal ) but i still feel like crying just thinking about it
anyway im about to get dressed(going to wait to shower at the hotel cos i cant face this one again :(
mums being super helpful though, shell meet me this arvo,drive me to my race tomorrwo,drop me at the hotel, then ill buy them all dinner monday night,go to my hotel nd then mum is going o take me to the airport. i feel more relaxed now that i am hotel-ing it. i thought i could cope-and well i just couldnt take. my bro will just laugh cos he said i wouldnt make it..... he wouldve gone hte hotel option right from the start
2 comments:
They say "You can choose your neighbours, but you can't choose your family". I don't hink you're being precious at all. Removing yourself from the environment for some "me" time is definitely the right approach, otherwise you might find that you do/say something you'll regret. Don't feel guilty about it.
Ahhh, families, can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em
You are doing the right thing, small doses and best you take yourself off somewhere you can be comfortable.
You know I don't think you are being precious my dear.
Have a FAB run tomorrow, be thinking about you.
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