..OMG

..omg how bad was my hangove today..i guess starting drinking at 1:30 pm and drinking til 4am...eeek.. means it was well deserved..lol
..dads 60th and my little angel nieces clambering all over me..they were just too cute for words
..i was very glad my bro in law came with the girls..dad had a great time amd he was soooo apreciative that i was there(of course i would be there...but then i AM the dutiful daughter :)

..OMG how much did people love my MIAOW top..had people coming up and miaow-ing at me all night ..and telling me how cute it was..it was great.will pop up a piccy...when i get my camera back...i uh err left it at the pub(fortunately people alway treat me lika a child and do a 'sweep' after me...lol..so my friend picked it up for me..
oh yeah id even made a "miaow" for my friend to wear..so we could be the pussycats but she refused to wear it..i was telling the bar man and hes like REALLY..ill wear it.. so i was pinning it on for him...very funny..but then when i went and met another gf, she was like......ohhhhhhh i woulda worn it...
..had a GREAT day
..and i know i say it ALL the time...but im quitting drinking.... have only just started to feel human again!!!!!

..miaow

just a quickie post today..
..am on my way out for grnd final day..hopefully keep my food under control..cos i sure as heck didnt last night..what was i thinking???Mcdonalds????jojo!

so this morning hae made my little slogan to wear on my top..black top and i stick on a little cartoony slogan..today it says miaow...cos im supporting the cats..cute huh!
..had a good night with sara last night..funny gal!OMG how much eye make up did i have on..i must have put it on with a trowel..this morning i was like..what the...yes yes..im not disciplined enough to take make-up off at night.. must scare the boys looking at rocky racoon(beatles song-and one of my favourite songs..sorry i digress..best song..listen to it if you get a chance)
..lol my gf just rang me..im meeting her at the pub..but shes not sure exactly what time..so i hope im not there too long by myself..eeek..and shes like get me a chair yeah..of course kirra.. see im a stander-up-er-er....she is not..this morning ..it was quite funny cos i was thinking..must remember to get a chair for kirra..LOL

ok.. well im about to do my make-up..hopefully without the trowel this time LOL...and miaow myself up!! go cats(even if you did beat the pies..they better win..cos i reckon we woulda given port a run for their money!!)
..oh and hope stu has a great time in sydney(without getting put in the lock -up or hospital!!!)not me saying it..they are HIS words from HIS blog...eeek

..splish spash..and i aint taking a bath

..well i sucked it up..and jumped into the pool
OMG i had a look at that tunnel i was climbing into the other day OMG it was tiny! no wonder i felt like a whale climbing in and out
..anyway my "friend" yesterday basically told me to get over myself when i was saying i couldnt exercise.. and suggested i should be doing clinical pilates or yoga or swimming
..so today i did the following
..swim 750m(am still trying to work out my stroke and technique etc and may need a lesson i think) and then a further 250m with a kickboard...
..which i kinda killed all my good work when 200g chips on special $1.49..so i ate what i wanted on way home..and then tipped the rest in the bin..LOL..cos i just cant be trusted
..am having a majorly fat day today(i have put on a bit of weight) im back to 62.5kg..i know its not much back on ..but well im freaking out...so i decided to go onto lite n easy for a few weeks..cos i have NO self control..so from fri next week i should be sorted :) just gotta be reasonable for a week
..also called to organise clinical pilates..just waiting to hear back...
..may even get a chance to do some squash drills later today
..i also joined the ambulance which ive been meaning to do for a while

..running? huh? whats that????

..yep still not running..and in fact today it was hurting to walk..stupid overcompensating stupid stupidness..how can it hurt the other leg to walk..stupid stupid stupid

..well after not telling me they were going to keep my car overnight..turned out they needed to keep my car overnight..
so i left my house at 7:45am(eek thats early on holidays) to walk the 2.5kms to get the tram to go see my niece...(and the right front of the leg was sore to walk) anyway was on the tram for oh..about 3 stops or so... before we are told that there is a big crash so they are stopping hte tram at the junction..fabbo and there wont be any trams on the other side for quite a while....lol.. of f.ing course... so i walked and walked and yep walked some more..6ish not very pleasant kms(and hilly too)...then took ali to the playcentre..where we hightailed it up and down slides forEVER and then in this big play thing where i had to twist and turn and walk on my knees cos i was too big..up and down some more slides..before playing some more...

finally the car ready so had to walk another km-ish to the tram and then another km-ish off the tram to fork out my 900 dollars..ali has been asking to come to my place for ages so we are doing 'lunch' next week..lol... she cried when i left as usual..the 18month old really couldnt care less..im lucky to get a cuddle..lol..more likely a whack on the head...kidding...sort of
..and then engaged in one of my guilty pursuits..this is going to lower EVERYONES opnion of me... but if i am home...eek bites nails dont want to fess up..if i am home at that time.... i uh err watch ...days of our lives ...(and dr phil)
..back is kinda sore after all the shenanigans of the day ..oopsie

..and one tiny little rant.. i am kinda pissed off with my family..i love them to death and all but i think its a pisspoor effort.. my dads 60th on sunday..lets see out of the 3 siblings..um i will be the only one there....my sis has a good excuse being in the US..but my brother has known about it for a while and could have organised work...hmmmmm..not my place to be mad..but dad will be upset..and my bro in law..not sure if he can bring the girls as it is about the time of their naps... and my nephew hasnt even replied so doubtful if he will go... so looks like my grandma(but she may be too ill)my dad,my aunt,uncle and me... i just hope dad's not too disappointed

..and i think i am paranoid... i get very fretty over things that arent even there.. i think im going to give myself an ulcer.. im always worried when i think i have upset people..cos it makes me sick to the pit of my stomach( i really hate upsetting people.. i really am the conchiest little nerdburger of all time)
ok..sorry about being cranklestiltskins..hope it didnt upset anyone..lol..cmon that was kinda witty...wasnt it?

..a mish mash..but no running

..still no running.. but on a whim decided to put my car in for a service and had already self dignosed the clutch needed repairing..and yep the clutch needed repairing..and its going to cost me $1000ish.yippee... and i need 4 new tyres(not getting them yet) when i bought the car 3 years ago they put new tyres on... and i have only driven 35000kms..that seems a bit soon for new tyres doesnt it????

anyway..no woe is me.. i choose to have a car and kill the environment..so i also choose to have the associated cost with it

..as to yesterdays post..thanks heaps ..i was feeling pretty down.. i think i was misintepreted by one of my friends though.... i have not been seeing christian for months..i finished it about 4months ago..but it was unofficial and my head probably thought i could stll go back there... i wanted to end it completely and finally and have no option of ever going back to christian..and thats what i did.. and you know what.. today i feel happy-ish.. a big weight has been lifted.. its taken me at least 10 years too long to do...but ..it was already over .but i needed it to be over OVER if that makes sense..i needed that final bit of closure

anyway so a 4.5 km walk back today..achilles a bit niggly but not making me limp..still a bit away from running i suggest..and i just cant seem to get in the pool..
..so it is a quiet little miss joey bean... but one whose emotional health and well being shareholders would have seen the share prices skyrocket.. that monkey is finally off my back LOL
..and sara i hope you went ok at the physio today

..big girls dont cry

..so apparently i a not a 'big girl' :)
my best friend however will be really happy

..Christian..who is the guy i have shagged on and off for 15ish years invited me to come meet him at the pub yesterday..NO I DID NOT SHAG him..i decided it was time to finish this thing completely, entirely,inexorably.. i told him that i could not see him casually because he is not casual for me..the number one rule of casually seeing someone is that you are NOT in love with them, nor have ever been in love with.. this should have occured 10 years ago..and in fact i had stopped once before..but then something really horrible happened and...well i went back...
having said that i have not been with him in months...
crying for an hour is way more tiring than running for an hour :( im a trainwreck today..absolutey exhausted.. and the stupid thing is...i hardly EVER cry.. but it was the right thing to do..and i feel relieved but most of all that there is RESOLUTION..CLOSURE... with the conversation we had.. there can be no casual.. and

im very very very sad about this.. but realistically i dont think we can even be friends.. and that makes me very sad.. this is the guy i always considered "the one' the only person who knows certain things about me.... anyway..done and dusted
..but very sad and feel a little lost

about to go off to the massage therapist..narky achilles is not happy...
some real physical pain will be good..at least thats something tangible as opposed to this crap that im feeling at the moment...yes i know..it will pass :( :(

..ummmm how long did it last

..ok..so i lasted oh ummmm one day..in my defense, someone did say come meet me for drinks..and i dont like to disappoint..
..im about to head off to the pub...and meet a friend..should be good..been trying to meet for a while.

..how many things WRONG did i do for my back today
1. i carried a million year old singer machine..they weigh a f'ing tonne
2. had to carry my niece and too many bags from the car to the pool
3.at the water slide..climbing through the tunnel..that was way too small for me..um how many times joey
4.carrying niece again back to the car
5.niece running full pelt at me and rugby tackling me onto the ground...umm how many times joey
..no wonder its not hte happiest its ever been(im not too fussed though)
..so achilles today is still not fanatastic but it is getting better..and no jojo that does not mean you can run on thursday
..so took my angel nieceto the ashburton water slide pool..was shimmying on my belly(one of the pools 30cm deep9and freezing) climbing through a tunnel..and wasnt that elegant...i was too big...felt like a whale..lol.. after about 10 times ive gone..ali...do mummy and daddy do this tunnel..and shes like no... they dont fit...yeah thanks for the heads up honey
..went on the waterslide a few times which was fun...went in the 'deep pool' .also went in the 1m pool that was warmer than my bath usually is lol..and did races..OMG i was exhausted at the end
..took me gaes to get her out of the pool..and had to carry her out again(yeah great for the back AGAIN...
..then back to my sisters house where bro in law cooked for me(sister in the US at the mo) and have organised to 'play again' on thursday
..no jojo.dont go home yet..thos big saucer eyes...5 more minutes..ok ali...5 more minutes..im a soft touch when it comes to that little angel
was very cute when we had stacks on jojo and even the 18 month old was jumping on me...
hopefully i wont get a black eye, where my niece smacked me in the eye wih a kickboard..sorry jojo...didnt mean it....you ok jojo??? yeah just give me a minute ali!!!! LOL..its a dangerous game being an aunty..lol..and i wish i could work out when i hit my head..which is obviously bruised from something