..hohum.... just another missed start to the season

..HONESTLY, im tryng not to dwell on it, Im trying not be thinking how unfair it is that 3 out of the last 4 years i have missed the first few rounds of a xcountry season, im trying to just be happy that i am on the comeback trail
...but really right now its not working that well. my heart and irrationl brain is wiining out over my rational brain telling me its okay and it doesnt mean ill have a shit track season, and it doesnt matter that i wont pb my GOAL race of XCR, and it doesnt matter...but well it fricking kind does

it could be worse though...i could still be on crutches, i couldve snapped my achilles, my barney back could be sore ALL the time(like the days of yore) and i could be unable to run at all in the near future i suppose
yep, not exactly miss optimistic tonight, sorry, but well really i just cant help it. theres a bit of grrr going on in my head and im not exaclty mysel really. itll sort itself out.obviously i stomped on poor kittens heads in my previous lives and am dealing with the kharma now(just kidding my life is good, just annoyed) and apparently two minded at the moment, grumpy then apologetic, then grumpy then apologetic. one of you personalities take a frickin stand and be done with it please...oh good, there you go................

forgot to mention, did another jog yesterday-ccidentally did an extr 5 mins(lost kid) so ended up doing 17-18 mins super slow in short times ie 2.5 or 3-3.5 mins. achilles a little tender today but mybe its just that its cold. not ridiculous, physio happy enough,llowed to run every 2d day now unless it hurts, MORE exercise OMG, more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!